This is a forum where students can discuss and evaluate literature, film and writing.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
MP3 Elaboration
Our MP3 writing goal is elaboration. Use this post as a place to discuss strategies, ask questions, make commentary about how you are working on this writing goal. Remember, you need to work on this goal as often as possible.
27 comments:
Kathleen
said...
Since our writing goal is on elaboration how can we actively work on it to make it better? I want to ask this because in the mornings when we are working on our goals in our quickwrites i don't see how our elaboration is improving.
our writing goal is elaboration we can write stories and revise it and add more things that should make the story better. maybe go online and find strategies to make ou writing better. also ask your parents to help.
A very useful strategy for elaboration is, when doing your quick-writes,write a story on Monday. On Tuesday, go back and elaborate on all of the characters in the story. On Wednesday, do back and elaborate on the setting of the story. On Thursday, go back and elaborate on the description of items in the story(use the senses, touch,smell,see etc.). Finally, on Friday, go back and elaborate on the ending of the story.
I agree with "Who else...".Going back in your previous quick writes and further elaborating them is a great idea. The only problem is that if you are able to write an entire story on Monday, you should be able to fully elaborate on the characters, setting, and etc. all on Tuesday. Thus, leaving you the rest of the week to write a few more stories and further elaborate on them, and more examples for your work on your writing goal.
I've noticed i do something in my head when im trying to elaborate.This might help.... use who, what, where, when, WHY!. dont forget they why part. i ask the question "why" to every sentence i write and it helps me elaborate when i'm stuck. Sometimes things may make sense in your mind but to a reader it is just a bunch of words. Thats why you can elaborate! to make things not only more interesting to read but give someone a clearer idea of what you want to share. Hope that helps Kathleen. I am still trying to come up with more strategies myself. :)
A way I found out to help my elaboration is describe more and explain. If you start off with saying 'In the book _____ and _____ Got into a fight that changed everything' You need to add more, so describe what happened, maybe even what you have seen what you interpreted from it. So you can now say 'In the book _______ and ______ got into a fight and________________________Happened causing____________' Going on about what happened, what you thought about it. Just adding more ideas, more details and explaining could help your writing. Or at least it has helped mine.
Whenever you state something in any type of writing, ask or yourself questions like... Who? What? Where? When? Why? How? This means... Give example that support your state meant. Pretend that your reader knows nothing about what you are writing, tell them and explain things.
Heres another good tip: 1. Read over your story 2. Find anything that doesnt make sense 3. Make another sentence after it or write more in the sentence that doesnt make any sense 4. Use the Who? What? ext. on the sentence if you can't think of anything to do
Kathleen, are quickwrites are helping to improve elaboration because we are picking a weak sentence and revising it. I take a sentence like, "I have a truck." to "I have an awesome, blue 2000 Ford Ranger." I ask myself... 1.What color is it? 2.What type of car/truck is it. 3.Who made it?(Ford,Chevy) 4.How big is it? 5.I make a sentence using the information. (You have to ASK QUESTIONS!!!)
For elaboration you write a regular sentence using boring words such as," Good, happy, and others." Then reread the sentce and change the ask question like, who, what, when, where, why. I would also agree with Maggie.
Regarding GarrettG's respsonse.. you're right; that is a good thought. But in my opinion purposely writing sentences that are poorly written would not help us and maybe even hinder us by creating bad habits. I think that a good stradegy for me would be to go back to my earlier writing this year and places in my writing where I didn't fully explain or make clear what was going on. Then I would rewrite that sentence on a different sheet of paper and elaborate that one sentence into a full idea in a full paragraph. Then I would take the elaboration from the paragraph that would fit into my writing and add that back into the writing that I had written earier. This stradegy will work for me and hopefully others, but I think that everyone will learn differently. What other stradegies have you found?
When elaborting, using who, what , were, when, and why definately hepls! Also, show, DON'T tell helps alot with details. You can also do what Sarah M. mentiond, and revise earlier quick writes. This can help to pick out what you have done wrong, show if you make the same mistake repetitivly, and help improve yor witing.
Another good idea, like others said, is asking questions. This is the key to elaboration, for you cannot go into further detail if you do not know what more information it is you want to find out. Once you figure out what information you are trying to find out, then you ask a question that will tell you said information.
The main and most effective strategy to use when elaborating is to ask questions. Whether they are clarifying questions, specific questions, or general questions, they will always add more to your piece and make it more specific. I also agree with Jewls. Who, what, why, when and where are excellent questions to ask when trying to elongate a sentence. Also, there are multiple strategies on the back wall of Mr. Horvath's room that have to do with elaboration. The most effective one i think is figurative language. It adds plot, imagery, better description, and is probably the most effective tecnique after asking questions.
a good way to work on elaboration is to use good diction. For example instead of the sleepy brown dog it could be the muddy brown lab was partialy asleep after walking so much
I found that you can work on your elaboration by going back on previos writings and deciding what greater detail my be added. Another helpful hint for elaboration is to use descriptive words such as ominous, sluggish, couraguos or ellusive.
Planned or executed with painstaking attention to numerous parts or details
This means to add more to your writing whenever you can, with lots of details. Here is one good way to elaborate on writing:
A phrase or sentence may be applied to the information. Ex. The World Trade Center was attacked on September 11, 2001. The date, "9-11" also refers to an emergency situation. The attack on the WTO certainly constituted an emergency situation.
An analogy may be applied to the information. Ex. An election campaign is like a battle. One side "fires" by saying something against the other side, and then the other side retaliates by doing the same thing.
A phrase or sentence may be applied to the information.
Ex. The World Trade Center was attacked on September 11, 2001. The date, "9-11" also refers to an emergency situation. The attack on the WTO certainly constituted an emergency situation.
An analogy may be applied to the information.
Ex. An election campaign is like a battle. One side "fires" by saying something against the other side, and then the other side retaliates by doing the same thing.
My tips would have to be... ...put yourself in the situation... >imagine that you were there >imagine that whatever is taking place in the 'story' you were a part of it >pretend that all your senses were active during the situation >pretend you were the action...how do you react? >think it over before you put it on paper
Elaboration can be done with an enhanced vocabulary. By knowing how to replace less powerful words with words with greater meaning, and writing in a formal manner, not only makes you’re writing in a whole sound better but it is elaboration. These are some steps that help me with elaboration
1. Think about what you are trying to say 2. When you write what you thought
• Can you in visualize what is happening • Can others realize what you are saying • Is it clearly stated (not too wordy) • Is there use of writing techniques whether it be
1. magicthrees(Very helpful when elaborating) 2. Similes and Metaphors 3. Onomonipia (Sorry its most likely spelled wrong) 4. Sentence variation 5. Describing what you want to be portrayed ie. (THIS IS ELBERATION)
Ex: The Dog was tired after playing so it decided to take a nap. Then after hearing the sound of silverware hitting together he jumped to his feet in hope of getting some food from the humans….
AFTER ADDING ELABERATION: The joyful puppy, after hours of chasing a red and blue ball, fell into a deep slumber. Suddenly the memorable clanking of silverware hit her ears and like a cheetah she took of running in high hopes that maybe, just maybe, a morsel of human food wood come crashing to the floor where she would be able to devour it. She salivated at the mere thought of delicious chicken falling from the not so high heaven of food which the humans called “Dinner”
Authors craft is a good way to include elaboration. I have seen examples of this in a power point at http://www.authorstream.com/Presentation/wendyhale-109154-elaboratin-techniques-elaboration-education-ppt-powerpoint/
It also gives examples of how to include more information to elaborate. Instead of saying the car is fast, You can say the car was the speediest car on the block. This provides more information about the car and allows you to easily infer that the car is fast. I'm going to use this example as a guideline for my elaboration.
One way i try to help elaborate is to find a place in a story i have already written and 'explode the moment'. This means adding more details, or adding in senses. Another thing is finding places and putting in the 5 senses, so someone can really picture the scene. It is also good to use similies and metaphors. Using those can really create a clear picture in your mind.
I agree with Megg. I also go back to my old stories from the beginning of the year and explode the moment. When I go back I usually add magic 3's and describe more with senses. Similes and metaphors also help describe a person/place/thing more clearly. When you go back and look ask yourself questions like, who, what , where, when and why. I find asking myself questions very helpful and it helps me and my readers create a clear picture.
elaberation has been one of my problems because i say just enough to tell what is happening but most of the time i dont show. mr horvath has spent time going over how to show, not tell in a few different classes. some ways that really helps me is to think like the reader has no background knowledge about what you are saying so you have to get deeper into explaining. also i like what clair said, using similies and metaphores. not only does it paint a more detailed picture but it makes the read more interesting.
I would revise and rewrite stuff to make it longer and sound better. i also had my mom read them to tell me if i needed to add anything to them such as more elaborated senetences of better describitons of things.
27 comments:
Since our writing goal is on elaboration how can we actively work on it to make it better? I want to ask this because in the mornings when we are working on our goals in our quickwrites i don't see how our elaboration is improving.
our writing goal is elaboration we can write stories and revise it and add more things that should make the story better. maybe go online and find strategies to make ou writing better. also ask your parents to help.
A very useful strategy for elaboration is, when doing your quick-writes,write a story on Monday. On Tuesday, go back and elaborate on all of the characters in the story. On Wednesday, do back and elaborate on the setting of the story. On Thursday, go back and elaborate on the description of items in the story(use the senses, touch,smell,see etc.). Finally, on Friday, go back and elaborate on the ending of the story.
I agree with "Who else...".Going back in your previous quick writes and further elaborating them is a great idea. The only problem is that if you are able to write an entire story on Monday, you should be able to fully elaborate on the characters, setting, and etc. all on Tuesday. Thus, leaving you the rest of the week to write a few more stories and further elaborate on them, and more examples for your work on your writing goal.
I've noticed i do something in my head when im trying to elaborate.This might help.... use who, what, where, when, WHY!. dont forget they why part. i ask the question "why" to every sentence i write and it helps me elaborate when i'm stuck. Sometimes things may make sense in your mind but to a reader it is just a bunch of words. Thats why you can elaborate! to make things not only more interesting to read but give someone a clearer idea of what you want to share. Hope that helps Kathleen. I am still trying to come up with more strategies myself. :)
A way I found out to help my elaboration is describe more and explain.
If you start off with saying
'In the book _____ and _____ Got into a fight that changed everything'
You need to add more, so describe what happened, maybe even what you have seen what you interpreted from it. So you can now say
'In the book _______ and ______ got into a fight and________________________Happened causing____________' Going on about what happened, what you thought about it. Just adding more ideas, more details and explaining could help your writing. Or at least it has helped mine.
Whenever you state something in any type of writing, ask or yourself questions like...
Who?
What?
Where?
When?
Why?
How?
This means...
Give example that support your state meant. Pretend that your reader knows nothing about what you are writing, tell them and explain things.
Heres another good tip:
1. Read over your story
2. Find anything that doesnt make sense
3. Make another sentence after it or write more in the sentence that doesnt make any sense
4. Use the Who? What? ext. on the sentence if you can't think of anything to do
Kathleen, are quickwrites are helping to improve elaboration because we are picking a weak sentence and revising it. I take a sentence like, "I have a truck." to "I have an awesome, blue 2000 Ford Ranger." I ask myself...
1.What color is it?
2.What type of car/truck is it.
3.Who made it?(Ford,Chevy)
4.How big is it?
5.I make a sentence using the information.
(You have to ASK QUESTIONS!!!)
To Practice Elaboration purposely write sentences that are lame then write them alittle better then better and better until the sentence is great
For elaboration you write a regular sentence using boring words such as," Good, happy, and others." Then reread the sentce and change the ask question like, who, what, when, where, why. I would also agree with Maggie.
**SarahM said...
Regarding GarrettG's respsonse.. you're right; that is a good thought. But in my opinion purposely writing sentences that are poorly written would not help us and maybe even hinder us by creating bad habits. I think that a good stradegy for me would be to go back to my earlier writing this year and places in my writing where I didn't fully explain or make clear what was going on. Then I would rewrite that sentence on a different sheet of paper and elaborate that one sentence into a full idea in a full paragraph. Then I would take the elaboration from the paragraph that would fit into my writing and add that back into the writing that I had written earier. This stradegy will work for me and hopefully others, but I think that everyone will learn differently. What other stradegies have you found?
When elaborting, using who, what , were, when, and why definately hepls! Also, show, DON'T tell helps alot with details. You can also do what Sarah M. mentiond, and revise earlier quick writes. This can help to pick out what you have done wrong, show if you make the same mistake repetitivly, and help improve yor witing.
Another good idea, like others said, is asking questions. This is the key to elaboration, for you cannot go into further detail if you do not know what more information it is you want to find out. Once you figure out what information you are trying to find out, then you ask a question that will tell you said information.
The main and most effective strategy to use when elaborating is to ask questions. Whether they are clarifying questions, specific questions, or general questions, they will always add more to your piece and make it more specific. I also agree with Jewls. Who, what, why, when and where are excellent questions to ask when trying to elongate a sentence. Also, there are multiple strategies on the back wall of Mr. Horvath's room that have to do with elaboration. The most effective one i think is figurative language. It adds plot, imagery, better description, and is probably the most effective tecnique after asking questions.
a good way to work on elaboration is to use good diction. For example instead of the sleepy brown dog it could be the muddy brown lab was partialy asleep after walking so much
I found that you can work on your elaboration by going back on previos writings and deciding what greater detail my be added. Another helpful hint for elaboration is to use descriptive words such as ominous, sluggish, couraguos or ellusive.
The Definition of "elaborate" is:
Planned or executed with painstaking attention to numerous parts or details
This means to add more to your writing whenever you can, with lots of details. Here is one good way to elaborate on writing:
A phrase or sentence may be applied to the information.
Ex. The World Trade Center was attacked on September 11, 2001. The date, "9-11" also refers to an emergency situation. The attack on the WTO certainly constituted an emergency situation.
An analogy may be applied to the information.
Ex. An election campaign is like a battle. One side "fires" by saying something against the other side, and then the other side retaliates by doing the same thing.
A phrase or sentence may be applied to the information.
Ex. The World Trade Center was attacked on September 11, 2001. The date, "9-11" also refers to an emergency situation. The attack on the WTO certainly constituted an emergency situation.
An analogy may be applied to the information.
Ex. An election campaign is like a battle. One side "fires" by saying something against the other side, and then the other side retaliates by doing the same thing.
My tips would have to be...
...put yourself in the situation...
>imagine that you were there
>imagine that whatever is taking place in the 'story' you were a part of it
>pretend that all your senses were active during the situation
>pretend you were the action...how do you react?
>think it over before you put it on paper
Elaboration can be done with an enhanced vocabulary. By knowing how to replace less powerful words with words with greater meaning, and writing in a formal manner, not only makes you’re writing in a whole sound better but it is elaboration. These are some steps that help me with elaboration
1. Think about what you are trying to say
2. When you write what you thought
• Can you in visualize what is happening
• Can others realize what you are saying
• Is it clearly stated (not too wordy)
• Is there use of writing
techniques whether it be
1. magicthrees(Very helpful when
elaborating)
2. Similes and Metaphors
3. Onomonipia (Sorry its most likely
spelled wrong)
4. Sentence variation
5. Describing what you want to be portrayed
ie. (THIS IS ELBERATION)
Ex:
The Dog was tired after playing so it decided to take a nap. Then after hearing the sound of silverware hitting together he jumped to his feet in hope of getting some food from the humans….
AFTER ADDING ELABERATION:
The joyful puppy, after hours of chasing a red and blue ball, fell into a deep slumber. Suddenly the memorable clanking of silverware hit her ears and like a cheetah she took of running in high hopes that maybe, just maybe, a morsel of human food wood come crashing to the floor where she would be able to devour it. She salivated at the mere thought of delicious chicken falling from the not so high heaven of food which the humans called “Dinner”
Authors craft is a good way to include elaboration. I have seen examples of this in a power point at http://www.authorstream.com/Presentation/wendyhale-109154-elaboratin-techniques-elaboration-education-ppt-powerpoint/
It also gives examples of how to include more information to elaborate. Instead of saying the car is fast, You can say the car was the speediest car on the block. This provides more information about the car and allows you to easily infer that the car is fast. I'm going to use this example as a guideline for my elaboration.
One way i try to help elaborate is to find a place in a story i have already written and 'explode the moment'. This means adding more details, or adding in senses. Another thing is finding places and putting in the 5 senses, so someone can really picture the scene. It is also good to use similies and metaphors. Using those can really create a clear picture in your mind.
I agree with Megg. I also go back to my old stories from the beginning of the year and explode the moment. When I go back I usually add magic 3's and describe more with senses. Similes and metaphors also help describe a person/place/thing more clearly. When you go back and look ask yourself questions like, who, what , where, when and why. I find asking myself questions very helpful and it helps me and my readers create a clear picture.
elaberation has been one of my problems because i say just enough to tell what is happening but most of the time i dont show. mr horvath has spent time going over how to show, not tell in a few different classes. some ways that really helps me is to think like the reader has no background knowledge about what you are saying so you have to get deeper into explaining. also i like what clair said, using similies and metaphores. not only does it paint a more detailed picture but it makes the read more interesting.
I would say is to ask questions. Always be like, "Does this make sense?" or "What is going on"
I would revise and rewrite stuff to make it longer and sound better. i also had my mom read them to tell me if i needed to add anything to them such as more elaborated senetences of better describitons of things.
I would say u need to stop and think about what you are writing. So that you can think of maybe a better word or a way to put imagery in your poem.
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