"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." - Anton Chekhov
This quote talks about how important it is for a writer to show the reader and allow the reader to experience aspects of the story using senses. Most of us just tell the reader what is going on. Do you have any strategies that you use to "show don't tell"? If so, share one with us. Don't forget an example. If you don't, then go do some research and find a strategy that you could use and share that with us as well.
42 comments:
My tip is that you should use your own experiences and what you felt with your 5 senses, when describing something to a reader.
I have an example of how I felt when waves were crashing on me in the ocean; instead of saying the waves fell on somebody I say: He felt liked he was being attacked by a swarm of flying arrows, he tasted salt on his tongue and gagged, and he realized the tide was devouering him.
I think that Ghost has a really good tip because he also used a magic 3. Ghost said, "...you felt with your 5 senses..." and in his example he/she did exactly that. I felt like I was reading a book by a professional! "He felt like he was being attacked by a swarm of flying arrows, he tasted salt on his tongue and gagged, and he realized the tide was devouring him." said Ghost. Bravo, bravo!
From, Pandagirl!
Another tip is to not specifically say what happened or not give all of the information. Doing this you push the reader to find out what happened.
For example:
She walked in her apartment and slammed the door, tears dripping down her face and running to her room. Locking the door and jumping on her bed, Julia began to moan. Newly cried tear drops streaming down her matted down hair.
From: Pandagirl!
(so sorry if the writing is terrible)
Well, what I use to 'show' the readers of my book and not tell is to first, envision the scene. What's going on? Is the scene gruesome, peaceful, or happy? Think of what you, yourself would describe the scene as. 'As Arok looked around, he saw the charred, molten buildings all around him, as if there was an explosion of fire and floating ash. He couldn't take one footstep without stepping in soot. Something like this could've taken hours to do, but he had only arrived in a couple of minutes, and the soot was fresh.' My story: The Path of Dawn.
I think this is interesting because it makes literature seem like not just literature, but a whole different perspective. Evidence to support this is "Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.", By Anton Chekhov.
If I want to show the reader something and not tell them, I would use descriptive language. I would also probably use the senses to describe something. Instead of saying, "It tasted good." you might say, "The buttery taste of the mouthwatering pasta delighted my senses." If you were reading this, you would praobably rather the second sentence. Most people would find the first one boring whild they would think the other one was interesting. That shows why using writing techniques lik this one are very important in your writing.
@ DR Bubblesquash I Think that that is a great way of putting it. Usage of descriptive words really help set the mood and make to reader feel sad, happy, angry or any other emotion.
@Pandagirl!
I agree that you should not give away all the information when you write. It is not a good thing to give away all the info in a story because then you'll make the readers lose interest in the story. If you blantantly tell the reader what's happening, they won't enjoy reading the story. That is a big problem. You can't say,"John was the killer." You should say something like, "John was spotted in the area slinking around at the time of the murder" People would rather read the second one because they have a chance to figure it out themselves. Overall, this is a good habit to get into and I agree with Pandagirl!
i think ghost shouldn't haunt people
i say use adjectives that are really descriptive like "he leafed through the book" or "the student rooted through the home work he had that night"
i think what the original fake said was correct
i think "kyiedeegan" needs to wright more
I write my whole essay, article, or whatever I'm writing then at the end I go read through the whole thing and expand on anything I can because that way it's easier for the reader to picture what I'm talking about. For example, if I wrote, "When I looked outside this morning it was snowing." then I would go back write the rest and when I was reading through it I would make it say, "When I woke up this morning from seemingly endless sleep, I saw snowflakes slowly floating down from the sky in an endless stream, each one with a different pattern in the minuscule white little snowflake.
@alcatrazjail
I agree with your method because it is the easiest to use. When you are writing your story it is hard to always think of ways to show not tell. You should do what you can but then go back and remove every statement you can and instead show it. For example I may have written, " Mark was furious." I would go back and change that to " The pit of Marks stomach boiled with a hot wrath, his icy stare bore holes into the back of Alex's shirt, and a vicious snarl slowly curled up on his face.
I think showing someone something as to telling them information can be used largely in the education world. Take STEM for an example. The whole program is based on showing kids information as to telling kids information that won't stick in their heads as well as showing them does.
@Ghost
Your stratagy of using the five senses is great because then the reader can undrrstand it better. Everyone has the five sensees so they will always be able to connrct with and they will never have no clue what you are talking about. this is good because then your writing will be better and more elaborate and the reader will have a better understanding of wuat is going on.
When I write I try to use my senses and add descriptive words because it will make the piece more interesting for other people to read. I write the piece then go back over it and use thesauruses to come up with better adjectives then my originals. I also incorporate my senses. For example, instead of saying, rain fell on my arms and I was happy, I would say, feeling the crisp drops, freefalling, absorb into my damp, soft skin, I was content. I used to sense of feeling and emotion to show what was going on and I used bigger words then feel and happy, to show it. People reading sentences with descriptive language and showing of senses will be much more interested than sentences that are plan and just tell the story but don’t show it.
@ Sir Awesome I agree with you because it is important to use descriptive words. When people read, generally a sentence like, the tattered page swept through the dry, dark air touching down to the bare road, is more interesting and grabs attention better than, the paper fell on the street. Using the words to describe all the nouns does make the writing more interesting where the other version seems boring. That shows it’s important to good writing.
@G-MAN
I agree with you. I believe that for show don't tell, you have to use really descriptive words and phrases. You have to use imagery. For instance, you said that "The pit of Marks stomach boiled with a hot wrath, his icy stare bore holes into the back of Alex's shirt, and a vicious snarl slowly curled up on his face" You used verbs and adjective to put an image in the readers mind instead of just saying "Mark was furious"
My strategy I use is to first find a subject, then to find descriptive words to describe it, and lastly to put it all together. This is good because instead of doing this all at once this makes it easier to just complete this in steps. Therefore show don’t tell can be easy if you split it into steps.
@alcatrazjail
I agree with your method because it is the easiest to use. When you are writing your story it is hard to always think of ways to show not tell. You should do what you can but then go back and remove every statement you can and instead show it. For example I may have written, " Mark was furious." I would go back and change that to " The pit of Marks stomach boiled with a hot wrath, his icy stare bore holes into the back of Alex's shirt, and a vicious snarl slowly curled up on his face.
One of the show don't tell strategies I use I took from Harry Potter, but I like using it anyway. The writing describes a character's body language instead of outright saying what the character's mood is. For example, when I want to make it understood that someone is angry, I might say, " The man's hands curled onto fists."
@GHOST
I think this is a great way to describe a memory because you use your senses everyday. Every memory good or bad, has something to do with your senses. For example I remembered New York Rangers games when we went on the field trip because I could smell the NUTS 4 Nuts that my dad and I got when we went to the game. Scent, taste, feeling, hearing, or seeing something could trigger a memory. Therefore making it easy to describe.
After doing some research on the subject, "show don't tell" I found a website that explains instead of telling examples of a character, you should explain a scene that shows "HOW" the character is and acts through action or dialogue that moves the story forward. Example, "Bill is an angry guy. He get's pissed off all the time, traffic lights, slow Starbucks lines, commercials on T.V. It's just the way he is. But rather than writing what I just did, the way to bring this into a story is to simply show Bill getting mad. It's much more effective at describing the character than telling me that he's an angry guy. The trick for the good author is to create a situation where we can see Bill getting mad." The source, http://learnedaboutwriting.blogspot.com/2008/05/ten-point-revision-strategy-show-dont.html shows and explains how to use that strategy of "show don't tell".
When the first comment, Ghost said, "My tip is that you should use your own experiences and what you felt with your 5 senses, when describing something to a reader." I thought this to be a very helpful tip because using your own experiences can help you with writing because you were actually there and you are able to "show" into detail about the event so the reader can feel like he or she is there. The way of doing so is to describe your 5 senses. Therefore, I agree with Ghost's comment because using your own experiences through your 5 senses because it improves your writing through "show don't tell".
When the first comment, Ghost said, "My tip is that you should use your own experiences and what you felt with your 5 senses, when describing something to a reader." I thought this to be a very helpful tip because using your own experiences can help you with writing because you were actually there and you are able to "show" into detail about the event so the reader can feel like he or she is there. The way of doing so is to describe your 5 senses. Therefore, I agree with Ghost's comment because using your own experiences through your 5 senses because it improves your writing through "show don't tell".
One of my ideas is to relate to one of your own experiences and describe what went on in your experience.
My second idea is to give little hints but not from the story but hints that give the sense of what happened.
The reason I say this is because when somebody ask you, what happened in this part." You can use these strategies and kind of give that person a sense of what happened.
I agree with Ghost because to give a example from your own exspirence and to use youre five sences to exsplain whayt happened around you.That is good because then this gives the sence of what was happening in that scene where you were showing and not telling.
@Anonymous I think the idea of relating to your own experience is a great idea because it everybody has at least one thing they can relate to.It might be different for everybody because nobody has the same life.Though it will help the reader understand and relate to their own experiences.
My strategy is to imagine that the person has to see the moment in their imagination. For example, instead of saying, the birds chirped and the trees rustled in the wind, I would say:
The birds were cooing and singing outside. The trees were shaking, dancing, and blowing in the wind.
Basically, my stategy is to make the person see the image in their mind.
My strategy is to use analogies. Instead of just straight out saying "She was sobbing," go more into it. Say something like "The tears felt like hot, burning lava against her cheeks. It was like a volcano just erupted and the lava wouldn't stop coming out" This helps the reader picture how much she is crying and makes them feel the tears too. Saying it was hot like lava, helps them imagine how it must feel.
@u don't know me i agree with you. When you just say "He was mad." or "She was upset" the reader will get bored with your writing. If you explain the characters body language, the reader will have to infer what their emotion is and they will be more into the book/story.
one strategy that i know works is looking at each sentence and taking out the boring verbs or adjectives and putting in new creative ones. i know this works because if a take a boring sentence like 'the horse ran through the field.' and take out the boring words like horse, ran, and field and exchange them for words like mare, galloped, and the open grassy plain. So instead of saying the horse ran through the field i improved it by saying the mare galloped through the open grassy plain.
@Hayley M.: I agree that using analogies are a great way to enhance your show not tell. like for my sentence i could say ' the mare galloped through the field as fast as a wildfire spreads in an open hay field.'i know this helps the sentence because you can almost say the other one in monotone. this one you can't help but be exited for the mare and wonder were she is going.
I think a good show don't tell is to describe and let the reader be able to picture what you are trying to say, instead of just saying what it is. This way, the reader will get what you mean.
@ Hayley M
I agree with this strategy. I agree because if you describe what it feels like by using other words, it will help the reader get what the writer is trying to say.
I use my background knowledge for most of the books that I could connect to. If I couldn't connnect to a book I would use what I hear, see,smell,taste, and feel. This is my "show don't tell" strategies. IN the book "{Peter and The Starcatchers", Peter had to come arcoss alot of tough obsticals, in that book I related to so many things, I couldn't count.
When i am trying the show a reader something and not tell them i put my self in the scene because it is easier to know what to show. If you close your eyes and put yourself in the readers shoes you will be able to feel what they are feeling, smell what they smell, taste what they taste, when you are the character you will be able to know what their senses are reciving. That is the easiest way for me to show and not tell.
One example is "He leaned in and kissed her." Pretent this is love of her life and she will end up being with him forever. This has to be a dramatic moment so when i put myself in her shoes, this is the new example of the kiss. "He took her by the waist and pulled her in tight locking his lips to hers like they would never kiss again. Chills ran through her body,sparks were going through her body. her heart was pounding so hard that she thought it was going to fall out of her chest. from this moment forward she knew she this was the man she wanted to spen the rest of her life with." This is how much the story could change and how much it can be improved just by using a simple method.
@Hayley M. i think your stratagy is very good because using this stratagy will help and make it alot easier to explain then just tell the reader. it also good for the reader because then the the reader can be put in the characters shoes and know what thery are feeling and tasting. it makes for a great read. this is why i think that you had a grat stratagy.
A good way to describe something to a reader is to use the 5 senses. That is because it tells the reader how something, tastes, smells, feels,the sounds something is making, and what something looks like. This will give them a very accurate description of the scene in your writing.
@Sarah G
I agree with you. The method that you used increased how well i could picture the scene in my mind. It gave an accurate description of what the character was feeling.
The easiest way to show not tell is to describe the scene with as many adjectives and verbs as you can because they help the reader picture what is going on. For example, instead of writing, "She was sad," I could say, "Mary laid by the window in the fetal postition, tears streamed down her face, and small whimpers escaped her quivering lips." Using verbs such as streamed and whimpers help the writing when coupled with the right nouns and adjectives. Therefore, an easy way to show not tell is using verbs and adjectives because they help describe the scene and enable readers to picture what is going on.
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